F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The Complete First Series

Excepting perhaps 'Phineas & Ferb' (because I'm that kind of sad git), 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' is probably my favourite television show of all time, and one of the only things which keeps me happy in this bland entertainment era. However, I must admit, the first series is what I am most disappointed in. Not because it's bad, but rather because its successors do it so much better.

You see, the series' first half is undeniably awesome, consistently hilarious and arguably perfect. The epic opener, 'The Pilot', introduces to us some of the most likable characters of all time. It begins in a coffee house, Central Perk, where Joey Tribbiani (the untalented actor), Joey's roommate Chandler Bing (the witty deprivee of his slut mother and gay father), Chandler's best friend Ross Geller (the boring paleantologist), Ross' sister Monica (the boyfriendless chef) and Monica's roommate Phoebe Buffet (the weird vegetarian singer) are discussing the recent discovery of Ross' wife Carol's lesbianism.

At that moment, Monica's best friend in high school, Rachel Green, bursts into the coffee house in a wedding dress, looking for Monica whom she hasn't seen in years. She has just left her fiance standing at the altar because she has realised that she loved her wedding gifts more than she loved her would-be husband.

This is only in the first few minutes of the first episode, and it is already incredibly twisted and daring, and states such legendary lines as "sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... did I say that out loud?" and entices you deeper into the stories of these characters before you have the time to question their existence with prejudice.

Half of the series carries on this traditional humour, yet the final half is nowhere near as awesome. A lot of wit and humour is lost, not enough for you to care, but enough to stand out when watching it. It feels as if it's focusing too much on Ross' undying love for Rachel, and not enough on pure hilarity. This curse is broken in the next season, but that's not really good enough, no matter how brilliant the series' cliffhanger is.

Something I admire about the series is how it has its major key story factors, keeps them consistently amusing throughout the season and then finishes them without disappointing you. Ross loses his monkey, Marcell, Carol gives birth to Ross' baby, Ross gets over his rivalry with Susan and also his love for Rachel while Rachel begins to fall in love with Ross.

If you could only purchase one boxset and then that's it, I definitely wouldn't recommend the first series as it is not as fabulous as its nine successors, but it is definitely an excellent beginning to a much-loved series, and one I would certainly recommend otherwise.

Four Out Of Five.

Toy Story

Pixar's first feature-length film, an improvement over the awesome 'Tin Toy' and the first in a very famous animated trilogy, 'Toy Story' is something I'm sure everybody has seen at some point in their lives.

When the film starts, you are treated to an entertaining introduction where a child, Andy, is playing with his toys, including his favourite toy Woody, a cowboy action figure. It is a very inventive yet realistic entertainment act. But once Andy and his baby sister, Molly, are gone, all this realism is warped into non-existence. Just like the characters in 'Tin Toy', the toys of 'Toy Story' are alive, each with their own distinct and unique personalities.

It is Andy's birthday party and, as always, the toys are frightened that Andy will get some presents which will replace them. The only two peope... toys... who aren't afraid of this supposed threat are Woody and his pard'ner Slinky. However, Andy gets a new favourite toy, a space ranger action figure, Buzz Lightyear, sparking a rivalry with Woody.

This rivalry leads to betrayal, hate, vengeance, loss, danger, danger and more, intense danger and eventually results in friendship. For a concept as basic as toys coming alive, 'Toy Story' is actually a rather complex film, and sporting brilliant visuals and a very suitable soundtrack, should threaten most contenders in a "best films of all time" list.

Pixar have done a lot with 'Toy Story's potential. It's as humourous as possible, as intelligent as possible, as ridiculous as possible and as believable as possible. Pixar have also included all sorts of references (such as books in a bookshelf containing the titles of various Pixar short films like 'Tin Toy', 'Red's Dream' and 'Knick Knack') and used 'Toy Story's trademarks as references in other films (the Pizza Planet van can be seen in both 'Finding Nemo' and 'Ratatouille' while the gas station is seen in 'Cars').

Pixar have done a lot with this film and it owes that we, the audience, return the favour. If you haven't seen it, hunt 'Toy Story' down, watch its successor, 'Toy Story 2', and promise you will see the upcoming 'Toy Story 3'. Another favourable Pixar review, and I can understand if one might presume me to be a biased fanboy, but when a company's entire portfolio is complete awesomeness, you can't blame my praise. 'Toy Story' really is that good.

Five Out Of Five.

Finding Nemo

Pixar. Possibly the greatest animators of all time. 'Finding Nemo'. Definitely an extremely popular film, one which broke sales charts upon its DVD release. Never before have Pixar actually disappointed me (excluding the lacking 'Mater And The Ghostlight' short film) and 'Finding Nemo' is no exception, with its unique and beautiful take on a slowly-tiring genre.

'Finding Nemo' is an action adventure set between the middle of the ocean and Sydney. Two clownfish are having several-thousand babies when they are attacked by a predating fish. Marlin, the father, attempts to protect his wife and children, but is swiftly knocked out. When he regains his conscience, he finds his family utterly destroyed, completely obliterated albeit a single egg, whom he names Nemo.

Fast forward a few years and Nemo is taken by a scuba-diving human to a fish tank in Sydney where he befriends a variety of other fish who have tried many times to escape from this tortorous container. They believe Nemo to be the key to their success and try many more times, intent on freeing Nemo before his captor gives him to his supposedly evil neice, Darla.

Nemo believes that his father won't come to rescue him because Marlin is afraid of the ocean. However, Marlin, who is accompanied by a very forgetful fish named Dory, end up seaching desperately for young Nemo, and encounter many dangers such as a minefield, a trio of herbivorous sharks, a school of jellyfish and a humoungous blue whale.

'Finding Nemo' succeeds in delivering an emotional film with a constant theme of loss without ever losing a sense of humour, such as when some young fish mistake the word "boat" for "butt" and go on to speack some legendary phrases "that's one big butt" and "I'm gonna touch the butt". Pixar make a lot of things in the film even funnier than their potential would suggest, and this is barely an overstatement.

'Finding Nemo' is very constantly commended and recommended, and because of this some people might accuse the film to be over-rated. I'll admit it's not the best film in the world, but this is purely because of a certain unknown quality. Technically speaking, 'Finding Nemo' is a perfect film with plenty of humour and emotional value to satisfy. Two fish looking for a baby fish might not be the most appealing thing in the world, but then again, a lot of brilliant things aren't. Just trust me when I say that 'Finding Nemo' is a rare film which will appease anybody and everybody.

Five Out Of Five.

The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep

This is a very, very different war film. A bunch of arrogant Scottish Allies have gone to stay at Loch Ness, expecting the Nazis plotting to send submarines through Loch Ness. The funny thing is that there are no Nazis; just one, very famous monster. Given the fact this mythical creature is the protagonist of the film, and it would be natural instinct of a man with a gun to shoot a dinosaur-cum-sea-serpent monster, you can imagine how intrigued I am at how 'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep' manages to portray the apparently-heroic Allied soldiers as the antagonists.

In the film, one of the main characters describes the legend of the water horse. There can only be one water horse in the world at a time. When the monster grows old, it lays a single egg and cares for it, until it dies and the egg hatches into the next water horse. The water horse is both mother and father to the egg. In the film, the water horse of the World War II era grows up to be the much-loved Loch Ness tourist-whore.

Beside Loch Ness, a young boy named Angus who is terrified of water finds a significant rock buried under other rocks. He takes this rock home and it hatches into the baby water horse, growing magnificently with each passing day. The cute noises the Loch Ness monster makes are adorable and humourous, its reactions are similarly lovable and hilarious, and the animation is done perfectly, with the water horse emitting excellent character and charm.

'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep' has you literally believing in the Loch Ness monster, taking everything which is being said as if it was real, aknowledging the existence of our loch's great celebrity. You'll watch in enthusiasm as the water horse zooms in and out of the various parts to the loch, you will consistently feel the pain of the poor beast and you'll sit back in soothing satisfaction at every gracious leap of the monster. The scenery is fantastic, the numerous events which happen equally commendable. Some things which I love about the film is how carefully the story is told to the audience, how the uniqueness and charm of the Loch Ness monster give 'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep' a prideful sense of humour, and I absolutely adore the effective beginning and the very touching end of the film.

Honestly, I was anticipating this film for ages, but when I went to see it earlier today I wasn't really in the mood for some water-horsing around, yet I came out of the cinema as impressed as ever after seeing that brilliant piece of work. You are gripped to it from the very beginning, and despite what some critics have said, I actually found the pace to work remarkably well. There's barely anything I have to criticise about 'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep'. Perhaps we could have been treated to some more underwater action and more overhead views of the water horse swimming the lengths of the entire loch. The film isn't predictable as such, there are many things you definitely wouldn't expect from what some might see as a children's fantasy tale, but at times you will have seen a certain part to the film coming. This isn't enough to deprive the film of my praise, though, and if you were sensible you'd go out to see this film as soon as possible.

Five Out Of Five.

The Simpsons Movie

'The Simpsons Movie' was always going to be very highly-anticipated and fanatics of the famous 'The Simpsons' comedy always had great expectations. After several years of pure hype, we were given the result of those years of work: a decent film, but a bitter disappointment.

The plot is so exaggeratedly impossible it's hilarious, and as soon as it starts, 'The Simpsons Movie' has you laughing to all manner of weird and wonderful jokes and puns. However, while this humour is fresh and funny, it begins to go downhill quite steeply.

There are some very blatant hilarity attempts which don't even work in making you smile, and this frustrating schrapnel in what was initially a humour explosion are probably what you'll despise most about the film.

Unlike such licensed films as 'The Rugrats Movie', 'The Simpsons Movie' is not made more flexible than the television series, thus making it feel like three traditional 'The Simpsons' episodes stringed together one after the other. To add to this unwanted familarity, it's as if these episodes consist of one of the really brilliant, superior episodes, one of the weak, inferior episodes and one of the average good-but-not-great episodes. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely not a fantastic thing either.

There's not really much more to comment about 'The Simpsons Movie'. What we see of Ralph Wiggum is fun, but there is barely enough of him to warrant your purchase, and such classic legends like Mr. Burns are barely as good as they should have been, dumped for less terrific characters such as the Environmental Protection Agency. Lisa's boyfriend seems to have been thrown in just to give Lisa a more significant role in the film, but might instead dampen the thoughts of her fanbase.

'The Simpsons Movie' is a decent film with enough references and minor twists to entertain for the first time around, but it's something you won't want to come back to and simply doesn't boast the flexibility or the humour that it should.

Three Out Of Five.

Garfield: The Movie

I really have to question 'Garfield: The Movie'. The cartoon is traditionally a wacky series of normal events, and one half of the film is spent with just that, with the other being... exciting. 'Twas inevitable that the different, exciting section is the most entertaining, as ultimately, viewers are generally looking for something a bit different than what they can get on the television for free.

This isn't to say that the traditional part to 'Garfield: The Movie' is tedious. It is entertaining, just not entertaining enough. There are a lot of jokes which lack any of sense of humour whatsoever, but the film can also be immensly funny at times. I suppose this certain quality is similar to the cartoon series in a way.

The story goes that Jon is frequently taking Garfield to the verterinarian because he is attracted to one of the employees. She asks him if he can care for a dog named Odie and he agrees, bewildered. A rivalry forms between Garfield and Odie, and when Jon takes Odie to watch a dog show Garfield desperately sneaks into the car. Garfield attracts a legion of canines participating in a dog show and chase him, leaving their shocked owners, judges, audience and music behind. Hearing the music, Odie jumps down onto the stage and begins dancing as he was influenced by Garfield. One of the judges is so amazed by Odie's talents that he asks Jon if Odie may go into television. Jon denies this offer and the desperate judge manages to kidnap Odie, occurring from a chain of events which involved Garfield letting Odie outside at night. Feeling guilty, Garfield then goes on a mission to venture out his precious culdesac and rescue Odie.

The plot's nothing overly special although there is enough variety and quality to maintain your interest. At certain points the film becomes ridiculously absurd, and this suits the theme of the film perfectly. The direction is commendable, as almost every part of the film is nice to look at, and the acting is also pretty good.

What the film really needed was a few more fantastic, original scenes like the ones at the end. The film can get boring, and while this boredom is seldom available, it's still there.

In all, the film is an enjoyable watch and worth watching, although perhaps you might just want to consider renting.

Four Out Of Five.

The Very Best Of The Muppet Show: Volume Two

The most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, muppetational... or so the title theme would suggest. 'The Muppet Show' must be very famous by now. There are tons of feature-length films, including such classics as 'Kermit's Swamp Years', 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' and 'Muppet Treasure Island'. There are also some pretty brilliant characters, like Blind Pew (stolen from 'Treasure Island'), Rizzo the rat, Camilla and Sweetums.

Weirdly, this DVD is neither feature-length nor boasts these brilliant characters, although there is enough of Gonzo the great, Statler, Waldorf, Animal and Beaker to keep viewers amused. The film is essentially a fifty-minute compilation of enticing sketches. For the most part these sketches are enjoyable, but this "very best" collection is badly cut, and you can almost always see exactly where things are cut. Not that this hampers the quality or anything...

Like the first volume before it, 'The Very Best Of The Muppet Show: Volume Two' opens with a very... different song. If you disliked the first volume's opening you'll be pleased to here that the second's is much better. It's titled 'Boogie In Barnyard' and it's far more appeasing than 'Old MacDonald Had A Farm', I'll gaurantee you that.

In general the sketches improve in quality, some being genuinely hilarous, others being amusing in some way or another. There are some really brilliant performances in this compilation and the charm of the Muppet characters enhance the awesomeness of these acts further. Ultimately, the film is too short to gaurantee your purchase, ditto for the first volume. I would recommend the disc just for greats like the Koozebanian act and Gonzo and his reflection singing "Act Naturally," but if you decide against this purchase you're not really missing anything compulsory.

Four Out Of Five.