The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep

This is a very, very different war film. A bunch of arrogant Scottish Allies have gone to stay at Loch Ness, expecting the Nazis plotting to send submarines through Loch Ness. The funny thing is that there are no Nazis; just one, very famous monster. Given the fact this mythical creature is the protagonist of the film, and it would be natural instinct of a man with a gun to shoot a dinosaur-cum-sea-serpent monster, you can imagine how intrigued I am at how 'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep' manages to portray the apparently-heroic Allied soldiers as the antagonists.

In the film, one of the main characters describes the legend of the water horse. There can only be one water horse in the world at a time. When the monster grows old, it lays a single egg and cares for it, until it dies and the egg hatches into the next water horse. The water horse is both mother and father to the egg. In the film, the water horse of the World War II era grows up to be the much-loved Loch Ness tourist-whore.

Beside Loch Ness, a young boy named Angus who is terrified of water finds a significant rock buried under other rocks. He takes this rock home and it hatches into the baby water horse, growing magnificently with each passing day. The cute noises the Loch Ness monster makes are adorable and humourous, its reactions are similarly lovable and hilarious, and the animation is done perfectly, with the water horse emitting excellent character and charm.

'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep' has you literally believing in the Loch Ness monster, taking everything which is being said as if it was real, aknowledging the existence of our loch's great celebrity. You'll watch in enthusiasm as the water horse zooms in and out of the various parts to the loch, you will consistently feel the pain of the poor beast and you'll sit back in soothing satisfaction at every gracious leap of the monster. The scenery is fantastic, the numerous events which happen equally commendable. Some things which I love about the film is how carefully the story is told to the audience, how the uniqueness and charm of the Loch Ness monster give 'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep' a prideful sense of humour, and I absolutely adore the effective beginning and the very touching end of the film.

Honestly, I was anticipating this film for ages, but when I went to see it earlier today I wasn't really in the mood for some water-horsing around, yet I came out of the cinema as impressed as ever after seeing that brilliant piece of work. You are gripped to it from the very beginning, and despite what some critics have said, I actually found the pace to work remarkably well. There's barely anything I have to criticise about 'The Water Horse: Legend Of The Deep'. Perhaps we could have been treated to some more underwater action and more overhead views of the water horse swimming the lengths of the entire loch. The film isn't predictable as such, there are many things you definitely wouldn't expect from what some might see as a children's fantasy tale, but at times you will have seen a certain part to the film coming. This isn't enough to deprive the film of my praise, though, and if you were sensible you'd go out to see this film as soon as possible.

Five Out Of Five.

The Simpsons Movie

'The Simpsons Movie' was always going to be very highly-anticipated and fanatics of the famous 'The Simpsons' comedy always had great expectations. After several years of pure hype, we were given the result of those years of work: a decent film, but a bitter disappointment.

The plot is so exaggeratedly impossible it's hilarious, and as soon as it starts, 'The Simpsons Movie' has you laughing to all manner of weird and wonderful jokes and puns. However, while this humour is fresh and funny, it begins to go downhill quite steeply.

There are some very blatant hilarity attempts which don't even work in making you smile, and this frustrating schrapnel in what was initially a humour explosion are probably what you'll despise most about the film.

Unlike such licensed films as 'The Rugrats Movie', 'The Simpsons Movie' is not made more flexible than the television series, thus making it feel like three traditional 'The Simpsons' episodes stringed together one after the other. To add to this unwanted familarity, it's as if these episodes consist of one of the really brilliant, superior episodes, one of the weak, inferior episodes and one of the average good-but-not-great episodes. Not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely not a fantastic thing either.

There's not really much more to comment about 'The Simpsons Movie'. What we see of Ralph Wiggum is fun, but there is barely enough of him to warrant your purchase, and such classic legends like Mr. Burns are barely as good as they should have been, dumped for less terrific characters such as the Environmental Protection Agency. Lisa's boyfriend seems to have been thrown in just to give Lisa a more significant role in the film, but might instead dampen the thoughts of her fanbase.

'The Simpsons Movie' is a decent film with enough references and minor twists to entertain for the first time around, but it's something you won't want to come back to and simply doesn't boast the flexibility or the humour that it should.

Three Out Of Five.

Garfield: The Movie

I really have to question 'Garfield: The Movie'. The cartoon is traditionally a wacky series of normal events, and one half of the film is spent with just that, with the other being... exciting. 'Twas inevitable that the different, exciting section is the most entertaining, as ultimately, viewers are generally looking for something a bit different than what they can get on the television for free.

This isn't to say that the traditional part to 'Garfield: The Movie' is tedious. It is entertaining, just not entertaining enough. There are a lot of jokes which lack any of sense of humour whatsoever, but the film can also be immensly funny at times. I suppose this certain quality is similar to the cartoon series in a way.

The story goes that Jon is frequently taking Garfield to the verterinarian because he is attracted to one of the employees. She asks him if he can care for a dog named Odie and he agrees, bewildered. A rivalry forms between Garfield and Odie, and when Jon takes Odie to watch a dog show Garfield desperately sneaks into the car. Garfield attracts a legion of canines participating in a dog show and chase him, leaving their shocked owners, judges, audience and music behind. Hearing the music, Odie jumps down onto the stage and begins dancing as he was influenced by Garfield. One of the judges is so amazed by Odie's talents that he asks Jon if Odie may go into television. Jon denies this offer and the desperate judge manages to kidnap Odie, occurring from a chain of events which involved Garfield letting Odie outside at night. Feeling guilty, Garfield then goes on a mission to venture out his precious culdesac and rescue Odie.

The plot's nothing overly special although there is enough variety and quality to maintain your interest. At certain points the film becomes ridiculously absurd, and this suits the theme of the film perfectly. The direction is commendable, as almost every part of the film is nice to look at, and the acting is also pretty good.

What the film really needed was a few more fantastic, original scenes like the ones at the end. The film can get boring, and while this boredom is seldom available, it's still there.

In all, the film is an enjoyable watch and worth watching, although perhaps you might just want to consider renting.

Four Out Of Five.

The Very Best Of The Muppet Show: Volume Two

The most sensational, inspirational, celebrational, muppetational... or so the title theme would suggest. 'The Muppet Show' must be very famous by now. There are tons of feature-length films, including such classics as 'Kermit's Swamp Years', 'The Muppet Christmas Carol' and 'Muppet Treasure Island'. There are also some pretty brilliant characters, like Blind Pew (stolen from 'Treasure Island'), Rizzo the rat, Camilla and Sweetums.

Weirdly, this DVD is neither feature-length nor boasts these brilliant characters, although there is enough of Gonzo the great, Statler, Waldorf, Animal and Beaker to keep viewers amused. The film is essentially a fifty-minute compilation of enticing sketches. For the most part these sketches are enjoyable, but this "very best" collection is badly cut, and you can almost always see exactly where things are cut. Not that this hampers the quality or anything...

Like the first volume before it, 'The Very Best Of The Muppet Show: Volume Two' opens with a very... different song. If you disliked the first volume's opening you'll be pleased to here that the second's is much better. It's titled 'Boogie In Barnyard' and it's far more appeasing than 'Old MacDonald Had A Farm', I'll gaurantee you that.

In general the sketches improve in quality, some being genuinely hilarous, others being amusing in some way or another. There are some really brilliant performances in this compilation and the charm of the Muppet characters enhance the awesomeness of these acts further. Ultimately, the film is too short to gaurantee your purchase, ditto for the first volume. I would recommend the disc just for greats like the Koozebanian act and Gonzo and his reflection singing "Act Naturally," but if you decide against this purchase you're not really missing anything compulsory.

Four Out Of Five.

The Lion King

'The Lion King' is probably one of the most famous, well-known and highly-commended films to date. About a king of beasts, Mufasa, who has a son, Simba, much to the disgust of Mufasa's brother, Scar, who wishes to be king, is a pretty solid tale of trickery, power and despair.

The film boasts everything you'd want. Decent storyline, impressive art style, awesome soundtrack and a whole herd of lovable characters, protagonists and antagonists alike, such as Timone the meerkat, Pumbaa the warthog and Ed the hyena, not to mention a great script and effective sense of humour. That's not to say that 'The Lion King' is the perfect film. Sometimes one could accuse the plot of droning on a bit, and when the final battle is so insignificant, you know there's something wrong.

Still, what's a little lack of action and utter intrigue when the African setting and animal characters offer some sweet adventure elements. These adventures, such as when the hyena chase Simba and Nala through the elephant graveyard, a similar event in the gorge and Simba's new lifestyle of Hakuna Matata are quite honestly my highlights to the film, and you can see that so much effort has gone into the design of these scenes and locations, a quality which is distinct and constant throughout the entire film.

A lot of the time, soundtrack can be painfully annoying, like when songs are inconveniently added and the film suffers from this. 'The Lion King' is a proud exception. Try as you might, it's difficult to deny the excellence of the soundtrack. There aren't so many songs that you could accuse 'The Lion King' of being a mere musical, but there are enough tunes in here to make you want to purchase the soundtrack. As far as I can remember, there are five proper songs, 'The Circle Of Life', 'I Just Can't Wait To Be King', 'Be Prepared', 'Hakuna Matata' and 'Can You Feel The Love Tonight', with a few more minor additions for humourous effect (take Timone's and Pumbaa's distraction plan, for instance).

'The Lion King' can occasionally seem like a tiresome and desperate lust for your attention, although these tedious sections are very few in quantity and very barely affect the quality. An enticing art style, lovable characters and songs and decent adventure scenes, with great script and comedy are surely enough to make up for these minor setbacks.

Four Out Of Five.

Hercules

I really like the Disney classics. Before Walt Disney died we were treated to some brilliant films like 'Sleeping Beauty', 'The Jungle Book', 'The Lion King' and 'The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh'. One of my personal favourites is 'Hercules', something which can be described as a funny and witty parody of Greek mythology.

The storyline isn't really anything special, something a great admirer of Greek mythology would either love or hate, and something your know-not-it-all might describe as pretty average. That's not to say the plot is poor, it's just quite insignificant, that's all. Zeus and Hera have a baby named Hercules, who is loved by (nearly) all of the gods and goddesses who present him with fabulous gifts. Hercules' parents give him a white horse with wings and blue hair called Pegasus. Hades, who is bitter with Zeus for giving him control of the Underworld, gatecrashes the party and immediately despises Hercules.

The future is told to Hades. "In fifteen years precisely, the cosmos will align ever so nicely. The time to act will be at hand, release the Titans, your monstrous band. The once-proud Zeus will finally fall, and you, Hades, will rule all. A word of caution to this tale, if Hercules fights you will fail." So in a desperate attempt to rule over all, Hades orders his henchmen Pain and Panic to kidnap Hercules, turn him mortal and then kill him by forcing him to drink a potion which will drain him of his godlike powers. The henchmen attempt to do this, but while they do manage to turn Hercules mortal, they are prevented from feeding Hercules the last drop, and so he retained his godlike strength. When Pain and Panic tried to kill Hercules, the young baby immediately dispatches of these would-be assassins.

Pain and Panic don't tell Hades that they failed on their mission, so the young mortal grows up to be mocked for his strength and he feels that he belongs somewhere else. He goes to the Temple of Zeus and prays for answers when lighting strikes and the statue of Zeus animates. Hercules is told of the kidnapping and the turning to mortality and that to return to his parents, Hercules must become a true hero on Earth. Zeus re-unites Hercules with the now-grown-up Pegasus and sends them to the residence of Philoctetes, a perverted satyr who trained many brilliant heroes such as Odysseus and Achilles.

When Hades finds out that Hercules is still alive, he gets really mad and throws all manner of mythological minions in the young warrior's path, hoping to kill the flaw of his plan. Thus, a whole host of mythical creatures are present in this film, such as the River Gaurdian, Cerberus, the Erymanthian Boar, the Hydra, Medusa, the Titans and the Nemean Lion, who bears a distinct resemblance to Scar from 'The Lion King'.

'Hercules' is a film which shows the terrific quality of Disney's animation, script and design efforts. The many monsters are essentially brilliant and some of these, specifically the Hydra and the Titans are produced in such an admirable artistic style, one would be pressured to find a film of the same legendary design.

There are a few annoying parts in the film (a torturous plague which infects in many films) but in general 'Hercules' is a film worth watching. I'm a little disappointed that we only saw most of the monsters very briefly and the battle with the Titans wasn't as rich in length as one would expect, but these are minor failings and we see enough of these awesome antagonists to warrant 'Hercules' a pretty decent score.

Four Out Of Five.

The Rugrats Movie

They seem to occur rather often, don't they? The turning of somewhat popular television shows into full-length feature films. One of the more recent attempts at delivering an excellent 'licensed' film is 'The Simpsons Movie', and while it is quite enjoyable, it has been criticised as feeling like three episodes of 'The Simpsons' played one after the other. To aim the same criticism at 'The Rugrats Movie' would most certainly be difficult to justify.

A minority of the film is reminiscent to the traditional episodes, but once the babies go for a ride in the perfect children's toy, all of that changed to become a truly flexible film for the characters. The story goes that Tommy's parents are due to have a girl baby the following week, and a baby shower is present. However, upon the screaming of Angelica, Didi (Tommy's mother) realises that the baby is coming.

Of course, with the young protagonists being babies and therefore somewhat misinformed, they think that the struggling of Tommy's mother is because her daughter hasn't showed up to the party. At the hospital, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil' and Lil' break out of the baby play-area they are contained in and go to a "baby store", looking for a baby Tommy's mother will like. When they are found again, Didi has given birth to a boy baby, named Dil'. They take him home and he ceases to do anything but cry.

Meanwhile, Stu (Tommy's father) is working on the "perfect children's toy" which he wants to send to a Japanese contest and win $500. Once Tommy and Dil' fight for a teddy bear, Stu takes Tommy to the basement and gives him a watch with a picture of Dil' and Tommy in it, and says that Tommy has responsibility, which involves said baby assuming that this clock is called a sponsitility, something he thinks is like the crumpass that Okey-dokey Jones uses when he gets losted.

The perfect children's toy, the Reptar Wagon, is in the hall awaiting the delivery men, and is seen by Chuckie, Phil' and Lil', who put Dil' in the wagon because they want to take Dil' back to the baby hospital and get Tommy's monies back. As Tommy objects to this, the spoilt Angelica enters and kicks the Reptar wagon, which takes the babies through the estate, into a matress delivery van which turns out to be more fun than picking noses or making bubbles in the bathtub, and eventually into the middle of a forest. Now the babies try to get to the lizard's house and have their wish to go back home granted.

What with the characters being babies and all, the script is immensly awesome. Almost everything that is said by the babies is made to sound very stupid and misleading. To have a feature-length film with tons of hilarious speech all the way through is brilliant, and the script rivals that of the witty 'Pirates Of The Caribbean', which is saying something.

Speaking of pirates, there's a nice scene in here where the Reptar Wagon falls into a river and begins propelling away with the babies. Thus, these miniature characters dress up as pirates and begin singing "A Pirate's Life Is A Life For Me, Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Yum." 'The Rugrats Movie' benefits highly from its inventive soundtrack. From Angelica's and Suzy's descriptions of babies, to the singing of the little organisms in the baby store, to the "I Am Reptar, Hear Me Roar" theme, to Angelica's and Spike's search for the stolen Cynthia (which is in the possession of 'Dil) to the singing of a bunch of circus monkies whose train has crashed into the same forest, 'The Rugrats Movie' is full of some catchy and ultimately brilliant songs.

There may be times where you aren't so impressed by the film, but there are certainly times where you will be. With a witty script and an awesome soundtrack, added to the complete breakthrough of the traditional 'Rugrats' formula, 'The Rugrats Movie' is a film one simply needs to see.

Four Out Of Five.